I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Monday, August 21, 2006
it has been a week since i accounted for any events in my life..
sigh.. its been 1 whole week.. and even 2 days longer than that, since my last blog post.. as well as the day i tried to tell her the identity of LordLoveless..
tmr still got sch =/ but i dun wanna sleep..
last week ar.. it was really great that day, went to watch fireworks on friday night, but unfortunately, i was held back at home.. resulting into causing Alex, Leroy and MinTing to miss the first night of fireworks.. *actually it was second last* =o
thankfully, there was another night to watch.. or i'll really be dam guilty..
spent the rest of the night with my 2E1 classmates, Eoin, Glen and KengSeng.. and Sebastian who was not a 2E1-nian =x that day he almost died -.- i saved his life xD
they were a joke man.. i really enjoyed myself that day.. but end up.. we saw the last 162, and let it go.. thinking that another one will come.. we all ended up.. 5 of us.. taking 2 cabs back.. so ex =/
basically.. this week.. i have been playing Pangya almost everyday.. Im getting alot better.. i have mastered Hole in Ones.. but wheres the satisfaction? my pangya life will never have her le.. really no point in playing py le.. but i just cant stop.. i wanna be higher rank.. i wanna be pro.. i wanna play with her still leh T_T
this week.. alot of her in my mind.. i even thought that i got over her at times.. but at times i still think that I still love her~ it just dun really seem possible at all.. on Tues, i asked her if she hated me more.. she said yes.. T_T imagine how i felt?
WOOT.. right now im talking to one of her friends on MSN.. that friend say.. YX not afraid of me le xD
and lol.. Maple.. people macham giving me free cash.. keep buying my mesos.. those people are stupid la actually.. give me free money one..
i dunno what to blog also.. i like the feeling of studying.. tmr after sch i might go to AMK macs and study on my own..
i wanna succeed in my Os more than anyone.. reason being my PSLE aggregate is not meant for bishan park secondary school.. i can never be contented no matter what results i get..
but the deepest truth is.. im not afraid to say or i will be blogging abt it.. i dun think anyone in BPS have the rights to despise me.. i dun want to let those sec 3s taking pure sciences and double maths.. to look down on me... because they dont deserve that honour.. though true, i dont have the chance to win them in those subjects.. but they will never get to replace the subjects im taking.. thus i have such a goal in my heart.. this bubble will never break..
just watched finish a show.. yuan lai separation from the person u love.. is really that painful.. i dunno how.. but the time im left with.. i will try my best to do the most i can for her.. =x im so shameless..
after O lvls.. i dun think i will be playing maplestory, or even pangya.. i'll most likely be playing runescape, or shattered galaxy.. i will go back to the times when i was younger.. the games i played 3-4 years ago..
with a final note.. i hope i can really stop come online~
12:11 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Friday, August 11, 2006
its so special.. really so special..
come to think of it.. this should be the 6th-7th month since i've fallen for her..
through it.. there was Wenn.. but throughout that period.. i never forget her one bit.. i loved her as much.. sardine? tuna? i was lying.. lied for long enough le..
why so special? i've cheated someone i love, who doesnt love me at all.. opposite sia..
why did i first fall for her? she was the friend of a crush i had, 2 years ago.. i didnt really notice her.. she's so guai.. so innocent.. so naive.. just today, Yi Wei said she looked so toot.. maybe she isnt a great beauty.. but no doubt, she's everything i want..
boy.. she's definitely the girl whom i put the most feelings into.. i gradually fell for her, telling myself, she will never be able to hurt me.. tried getting closer to her in a virtual world.. and then fell alot deeper into this maze.. probably.. also the greatest habit that i have, over a girl..
i cannot don't look at her all the time.. cannot.. other girls i could.. its just a habit.. every morning i look at the clock.. i rush.. just in hope to see her at the bus stop.. if not.. i will try to reach school asap, and be in the hall.. taking glances at her.. pervertic? kinda bah..
and hey.. she's the girl in my whole life, who likes me least.. and.. she's the one im most fond of..
just deleted her on pangya, forced to.. i believe im more hurt than her.. we were great pangya friends.. is i hurt myself de.. not she hurt me.. no matter how she bad-mouthed 'mervyn' to me.. i wasnt miserable to the max.. i advised her.. to look mervyn up.. and give him a straight rejection.. stupid of me? nah.. at least i get to tell her what i want..
i gave her a note earlier, telling her I am LordLoveless.. i wrote
"I am the Duke of No Emotions. (LLL) TC"
she still didnt get it.. when she asked me the meaning of LordLoveless.. i deciphered that Lord means King ; Duke ; Ruler.. and Loveless simply means, no love..
in chinese, emotions = feelings = qing.. Loveless = Jue Qing..
and just now.. she asked why i so jue qing must delete her, i explained, LordLoveless means Jue Qing Lang Jun.. why Lang Jun? because im just a normal guy.. im not a real Lord..
maybe someday.. im sure someday actually.. i will give her the url of my blog.. i hope by then.. she wont feel that.. this whole post is a mock at her..
O lvls chinese, I got B3.. i consider it a great failure.. many classmates of mine can tell me its not bad.. im really dejected.. i dun dare tell my dad..
that time.. didnt really study.. was playing with Wenn.. sad.. but mainly is my oral.. merit.. i guess it pulled me from A2 to B3.. i might consider retaking..
my exams.. is the reason, why i wont be coming online.. i doubt i will be online tomorrow.. i dun think i wanna come online le.. whether or not my father or mother kb me.. its time for me to open my books.. why i wanted gd results? i want to be friends with yu xuan.. T_T
my friends told me.. its stupid to motivate ur results over a girl.. but motivation does not need a fixed thought.. back then i wanted to win SiHwee.. what a joke.. with B3 chinese?
like pangya, in studies, ur greatest enemy is urself.. i have gd attitude in pangya.. i tell people that.. if you lose, you only lost to yourself.. i guess it fits with my education..
- Studies, is a game to me.. -
6:01 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
today is Singapore's birthday, National Day.. but i dunno which year =o
Yesterday ar.. wasnt that good.. was tired when i woke up at 7.45.. sch started at 8 =.=
rushed la of course.. i must say.. the concert was disappointing..
then went for lunch with Eugene and some other friends..
diao.. i got nth to speak to them one.. macham i eating alone nia..
went home, yu xuan wasnt playing PY..
dunno la.. whatever it is.. i felt quite down ytd.. went for a jog around evening time..
then had dinner with Roy.. went to his house.. after departing at around 2am.. i didnt want to go home..
bought some drinks.. 3 cans in all.. set by the field near her house.. gazing into the dark sky..
i dunno what to do.. maybe i ought to confess.. im a cheater =.=
10:24 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Friday, August 04, 2006
i once thought that she will never be able to hurt me..
i also thought that.. the most hurting thing is that i am immune to being hurt..
no matter how much i missed her.. it still wont hurt me...
in the past.. friday i yearn to see her badly.. but sat and sun i wont think of her.. i pray i wont think of her tmr..
after 2 weeks of happiness.. im finally hurt by her xD
5:32 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
* none *
-Profile-
~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.