I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
i walked in the rain today.. missing her.. i know the more i tell her i luv her.. the more she wont come back..
i dunno what to do le..
9:58 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
im free..
but..
Mervyn loves Yu Min more than he loves Si Hwee, but.. Mervyn never forget Si Hwee..
im free to miss whoever i want.. and to love whoever i yearn.. no one controls my life anymore.
END.. BLOG CLOSED!
9:52 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Mervyn has decided to try to change as much bad habits for the better.. including those that dont benefit me.. i have decided.. to do things that are for the good of myself or for others.. things that dun benefit anyone are deemed unncessary =D
take the Si Ying case as example.. oh i haven explained what happened..
this girl in my class.. i sat beside her that time for geography.. linked tables.. i was looking at her earrings.. that is if i didnt remember wrongly.. but other people thought i wanted to kiss her.. some thought i wanted to smell her hair.. -.-"
so yea.. got into a fight with someone over that also.. i didnt hit back.. i was about to report him neh.. but i realised not worth it.. odds were against me.. everyone was thinking i was gonna kiss her.. omg? my first kiss.. would i be so dumb to give it to her..?
then after that.. ytd la.. i realised.. WeiLong(SY's bf) was waiting at the bus stop for me.. one gd thing was that i was late for sch lol.. so i didnt see him.. but then i was thinking.. i shld go find him and let him whack me.. cause.. i did do wrong.. i told Minmin.. she was worried for me.. this made my heart ache.. i made my darling worry for me.. and definitely after i get hit.. she will definitely be upset for me also..
so i decided to change for the better.. i went to look for him.. but cannot find him.. i dun plan to let him wait for me in school either.. maybe i will tomorrow..
and just not long ago.. just barely 40 mins ago.. oO seems long.. i read my darling's blog.. so sweet.. so touching.. i try my best to pass a message to her.. Yu Min, i love u alot as well.. i promise u.. really promise u that i will try to treat u better.. =x actually i think i treat u very well le.. but try to treat u abit more better lo~ i also dunno what to say.. also at a loss for words.. i was thinking of a poem on my way home.. now i write it here.. its dedicated for u..
-erh sry.. i was writing halfway i decided to delete that poem-
i rather write a better one.. the starting is quite good so i dun want to waste this poem when my mind so blank..
but remember something..
My dear and I, hand in hand..
My love for Minmin knows no end.
She loves only me and no other man..
Yu Min and Mervyn are the greatest friends =)
true love.. both parties feel so natural that they are like friends =D Muaz YM!
-=only you rule my heart, YM=-
8:13 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, February 19, 2006
i luv my dear =D
watched the show agn.. that touching show.. sweet.. hope i can bring Yu Min to my house to watch it with me.. wonder if she will want.. i dun mind.. its a good film.. just thinking if thats better or movies better.. but i gotta return SH the vcd soon o.O XD
i not that sad le.. this show dun really apply to me le.. but i know Yu Min will love this show.. she got her own blog le.. i have been worried that.. her blog might get more guys to know her.. =/ but i shld have confidence in myself and faith in her.. afterall i already let myself believe in her for real this time.. im risking it.. if she breaks up with me.. it would be excruciating pain.. just one more chance for a forever for she and me XD
just now still upset and worried that Yu Min dun want me anymore.. XD but i really believe that she will luv me properly this time.. =)
was at Shi Hui's house.. pon my tuition class.. part of the reason was due to the fact that i didnt finish my first piece of tuition homework.. (she nvr used to give me hw nia..)
play maple also play until abit no mood liao.. 18th Feb is Si Hwee's and Shi Hui's bday mah..
go there.. fun la.. but taxi fares ex wor =/ been taking too much cabs this week.. but there quite fun lo.. also got play abit of no $$ mahjong.. veri fun leh ! also played abit of maple and chit chat.. didnt buy anything for Shi Hui.. its like.. so paiseh.. then the vcd i watched.. borrow from her de.. ty Shi Hui =D
now abit tired.. but still want to play more maple abit.. Yu Min going malaysia.. i gotta wake up early to sms her.. miss my darling most!
3:26 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Saturday, February 18, 2006
today supposed to enjoy myself de.. good dinner.. went to orchard.. missed Yu Min alot.. i kept thinking of holding her hand lol.. then after that.. i went to K.Ster.. first time karaoke.. >.<
i had fun la.. but then not that fun either.. because Yu Min was sleeping.. and she sleep very long.. -.-" her wake up later all fake de.. i miss her terribly.. didnt enjoy myself because i kept thinking of her.. luv her too much le.. its Sh's birthday le.. called her to wish her happy bday.. she duwan answer.. so i just smsed lo.. =/
now also dunno what to do.. gapachon on maple total not even 100k zz.. 10 tickets wor..
miss Yu Min alot.. hope tomorrow can go out with her.. but now what time le.. im sort of drunk..
4:06 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Friday, February 17, 2006
SIGH..
all that talk.. end up still cant go out with her tmr..
i want to go out with her tmr >.< so important.. 18th feb.. zz.. was even about to go out buy clothes.. then she say she going out with sis or mother.. i feel so.. disappointed.. dun dare tell her also.. =/
6:20 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Sorry Yu Min.. >.<
you dont trust me because i dont trust u.. and i dont trust u cause im too afraid of losing you.. i cant carry on like this.. Mervyn must gain his confidence back.. and win u back totally.. happy valentines day.. hope next year we can celebrate on the day itself. we celebrating on thursday mah? xD
maybe i really complain alot.. as you said.. u are also hurt.. but u just keep quiet.. dun hide anything from me le.. say many times le mah =/ be more straightforward with me.. i still dunno if u really love me or not.. i need to be assured also.. i cant expect u to tell me everything yet.. because i have not been working hard enough.. the biggest reason is i scared to lose u..
8:37 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Min.. if u reading this.. this is not the one i asking u to read..read the nxt post..
i have shaved my head bald.. for the girl i truly love.. its really truly love.. she made my feelings for sihwee die out totally.. my objective is to make myself less likely to fall in love with other girls..
yumin.. forever really is a lie.. but i believed that u and me could make the miracle.. dunno why u didnt trust me.. whenever i tell u.. explain to u how love is supposed to be like.. u nvr listen de..
11:28 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Friday, February 10, 2006
O lvl results really upset me.. i realised.. whether i get good grades or lousy ones.. i will cry nxt yr =) because im such a good friend.. definitely got friends will cry.. sadly.. today alot of my friends cry le.. my friends.. my classmate.. this year is worst..
i never went to see SH.. as i had been waiting for.. its not because.. well.. i dunno how to say.. not because i lazy.. haha.. but because i got Yu Min.. im not being unfaithful also.. see her also no pt.. SH and i are 2 impossible souls..
Minmin.. today's entry is meant for u.. for u to understand.. and for u to know.. maybe.. before the day we went out.. MAYBE.. M.A.Y.B.E.. , if the fact of you rejecting me, can bring my feelings for SH back.. i might have wanted it that way.. cause i used to like loving SH.. but now.. i like loving you more.. i am happy.. if you dont know what i mean.. ask me =) i tried simplifying le.. i'll explain to u.. dun misunderstand le.. pls.. now i only want to love you.. maybe back then.. i didnt know how it felt to love someone.. who loves me so much also.. and yet.. we both are so natural..
i wont cheat ur feelings.. i guarantee that i wont leave u.. i wont look down on u.. and i will forgive u for every mistake..
i will spoil u.. love you.. care for u.. and always be there for u..
dear.. i may write alot of poems.. though they are like rubbish.. but its what i usually do to girls.. this is the first time i sweet talk.. even though i have all along been mushy =x
no one is at fault for our relationship like this .. is we both dunno how to love each other.. but its alright.. learn with me ok?
i love you alot.. i need you too.. M and M.. we agreed de.. we said we be the first couple to last forever mah.. though i dont really believe in forever.. but i know u and i can make it.. all along.. heaven has been fair to us.. correct things happen at the right time.. and u need me just like i need u.. i also dont know if we really really can last forever.. but.. u can prove me wrong =D MUACKX
9:51 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Thursday, February 09, 2006
THIS IS THE BEST STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD.. actually watched.. i cannot believe how touching this story is.. and NO.. this is not I not stupid too.
i never watched the whole story.. im actually hungry.. but i am writing this in my blog now for a reason..
anyway the part i started watching.. the guy, Seasonal(Gu TianLe wor!), and the girl(some chiobu leh.. messy hair also very chio), Moth, i dunno why they are so named.. Chinese name sound nicer.. the english subtitles sux.. anyway.. im gonna find the title and im gonna buy the disc..
Seasonal and Moth already got married.. but somehow.. Seasonal very scared of Moth.. Moth knew martial arts and she had foul temper.. Seasonal was requesting her not to beat him.. she said if he dont do wrong things.. she wont beat him.. if she beat him.. means he did wrong.. then he asked again.. what is her defination of wrong things..
hmm i lazy type lol.. more than 5 hrs pass le..
4:24 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
today went out with Yu Min.. love her.. =D
i felt very natural.. very sweet.. never had this kind of feeling when i went out with other girls.. i felt that she and me were really meant to be.. because its natural.. we did not act.. we did not force anything.. we just let things take its own course.. we never control any anger.. we never fake any smile.. one word best describes it : natural..
SH.. will be marrying me on Maple.. to be honest.. i really dont want to.. i told SH i wanted to marry her.. when i came home after sch.. after that.. when i was with Yu Min.. SH smsed and asked if i really wan her to marry me.. YUMIN WAS THE ONE WHO REPLIED "OK.." LOL.. zz not me lo.. but cant be helped.. i got 1 yr commitment to SH.. whatever she says i must listen.. but come to think of it.. she and i wont be happy together de la.. she probably thinks is.. i wil be happy.. if i say i dun want marry her.. she also wont be hurt or sad.. but if shes disappointed or something.. well.. she disappointed me many times before.. i decided le.. i must marry who i really want.. even though only Maple.. but i take it seriously.. because i really love my Yu Min..
sch's a drag.. now only JY reads my blog ar? lol..
11:30 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, February 06, 2006
disappointment.. very disappointed..
today i tested Eugene.. i told him i had sex with an underage girl.. but he really disappointed me.. he.. who last yr.. N lvl that time.. thought he was going to ITE.. told me.. that knowing me was the best thing in his life.. and that i was his best friend.. even closer than Johnny..
2 days ago.. i told him.. he was the most chum friend in 5A1.. 2 days later what happened sia..
he used Johnny's hp to record my words.. whatever i had said.. he recorded.. and he wanted to report me to the DM of the schoo.. craps.
voice record.. can never be used in court as a legal evidence, because voices can be immitated.
the girl.. who i had so called had it with.. is still a virgin.. how am i gonna get prosecuted?
alibis.. i lied i did it during the new yr.. i have alibis whom i gambled with.. Eugene u really disappoint me..
after that i was supposed to go out with Yu Min.. but it doesnt matter anymore.. it stood for nothing.. it was another disappointment.. i must admit i was very hurt.. it was.. OSTENSIBLE WAHHAHA.. I SUCK man.. but its over le.. i loved Yu Min.. more than i loved SH.. dumb commitment.. impaired my mind.. as to who i really loved.. first regret after 21st October..
6:48 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
* none *
-Profile-
~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.