I'll - leads to words of mine. "I" means myself as an individual, I am important, thus I is capitalised.
Love - leads to posts. "Love" in actual fact is just a word, it does not exist in RL =x.
you - leads to links. *YOU* have appeared in my life =)
Forever - leads to tagboard. What really is 'forever'?
Promises - leads to my profile. "Promises" exist to be cherished and believed.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
quarrelled with Si Hwee again last night. end of our friendship le, we both won't be in each other's life anymore. to be honest i dont want it this way also.. so Si Hwee.. or if anyone is reading, please pass the msg to her, so that she can call me for one last time. it won't affect my happiness, nor make me love Si Hwee again.
it is because, i have my Yu Min already. Really love Yu Min. Thanks for being the one to free me from my misery and replace it with happiness. just today alone, whole day smsing u, every period, every hour since u awake till sleeping. my phone even got confiscated in school, luckily i got it back.
went to watch Memoirs of a Geisha, not a bad film, but it stirred my heart. Im glad this time its Yu Min i am thinking of, if i were thinking of SH, it would have been nothing but sorrow.. i will definitely cherish Yu Min alot.. not only because of a darn show, but i know what she needs.. she needs me~ girls are meant to be loved and i know of a girl who needs my love. Si Hwee doesn't need my love =)
this way.. its probably better for everyone else. but for now, i will be able to concentrate on my studies, and have a happy life with Yu Min.
and my father is irritating again, today i had fever, didnt want to go to sch, he threatened to kick me out of the house if i didnt go to sch o.O
12:14 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
days without SH.. not bad le.. more in control now..
she hates me alot lols..
that week de events can forget it.. initially i did not want to update my blog anymore..
2 days ago.. at night.. we went out to eat sakae sushi.. we went to cwp.. but zz in Ang Mo Kio MRT station, some kid asked me, (I WAS WITH ALEX LEH! THAT BLOODY AH BENG), "uncle, is this the lane to go to jurong east?"
diao... why am i the uncle.. and not alex.. but Alex cleared the doubt for me, he bookshop uncle rmb? xD .. his knowledgeable reply was 'when kids see people older than them, its uncle for sure'
after that went to cwp.. but the sakae there close.. >.<
so no choice.. went to the food court there to eat.. i ordered alot, omelette rice + chicken chop i think.. >.< wasnt very hungry actually..
i didnt swallow my food properly.. that must be why i got a sore throat now.. heaty mah..
the next day go sch.. halfway very tired.. headache.. sleepy.. i thought i couldnt concentrate anymore... thats why i didnt really bother to stay in sch.. i requested to go home.. upon reaching home i did homework.. then i wanted to sleep.. but decided to maple abit.. and i ended up mapling till night.. before all of us went to sakae in cwp..(hey my Maple found Dark Ritual again lols.. 87 magic atk, but price drop, its now 21m =( )
it was fun eating with them la.. but Alex treat me like small kid.. thinking that i dunno the various food products of a jap restaurant =x.. i didnt really tell him that i know, just there being an innocent little angel.. like i always were =x 0:)
i have friends who really care for me~!! Iris, YingXin, Alex, Leroy, Bra, Ray, Mun, Shi Hui, Yi Jin and many other more.. thanks to all of u.. now i really realise that friends and family are more important to me.. i hugged my dad last night and said "i love u papa" and gave him a peck on the cheek =x like a little boy.. well in his eyes i will always be a little boy erh..
we walked leh.. from woodlands mrt to admiralty mrt.. it wasnt that far.. if we go to cwp again.. i will insist that we walk to admiralty mrt again lols.. we talked abt lots of things.. including a plan to get rich on maple.. we gonna pool our money together (dun underestimate.. can exceed 50m),
to make scrolled items to sell..
last night i had a dream.. in my dream.. it was really realistic.. some might say it was a lewd dream.. but i dreamt of.. a demon.. a demon who loved me, and i loved her.. but she and i.. were 2 different people.. i was the hero in my dream.. but to save the people.. i forsaked my love.. its really mystical.. even after i woke up.. i felt that i still had feelings for that demon.. even now, around 4-5 hours have passed.. i still remember the details of my dream.. i might write a story on it, or perhaps make a movie out of it in future, that is if i still rmb.. if this demon really exists in this world.. i'd like to look for her.. she may be the one to replace SH in my heart..
(i really dun want to hate SH.. but im forcing myself too.. because she will never come back to me)
2:58 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Saturday, January 07, 2006
fate has ended, flame has died,
love is over, trampered like a flower..
promises are broken, you aren't concerned.
feelings are dead, words unsaid.
the rain outside, best describes my sorrow,
it reminds me of our love, being cold and shallow..
though your feelings for me are no more,
but i do hope we are great friends like before.
it seemed to be agony to go through this,
but what i really did experience, was bliss.
i mean every word that i say,
from before till this fateful day.
i truly enjoyed the times we have shared,
and recall clearly the vows i have declared,
that Si Hwee i loved, will never come back,
you are no longer her, that is a fact.
that Si Hwee will always be the girl I love most,
up till the day my eyes are tightly closed.
tears fill my red swollen eyes,
as i recall the times which made the world so nice.
i have made myself very guilty,
for a spur moment of action, which was very silly,
i have killed the girl of my dreams on 21st October,
may my conscience haunt me into despair forever..
words of caution are what i have for you,
you are very naive, dun deny, this is true.
alas, things are far beyond our control,
or happy days and a loving life would follow..
My love for the old Si Hwee will always be,
for i'll be there for her endlessly,
now i managed to see all i should see, my vision that she and me, will never be...
that was not a poem.. its a prose of my feelings.. SH and i have reached an extent that.. made it almost impossible for us to continue.. Si Hwee i had alot of important things to tell u face to face.. but u dun believe me.. these truths.. guess u wont get to know enough things of urself.. maybe u will understand slowly.. i wish u all the best.. i will also let you know, that i am cleverer than you.. wait till i've proven it =)
(time now : 5:22pm)
To know others, is intelligence,
To know yourself, is true wisdom.
4:39 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Monday, January 02, 2006
my mood started fine.. was excited.. woke up at 8..
AIYAH I REALLY NO MOOD LIAO LA
SOMEONE TALKING ABT HER BF. I REALLY SO DAM HURT NOW
11:35 PM...i'm thinkin' of you
Sunday, January 01, 2006
i've been really happy this last holiday.. really very very happy..
to think at the start of my holiday.. i kept wanting it to end.. lols.. but this whole week is worth it..
hope tmr can go out.. really wish so.. not really tmr.. 6-7 hrs later only =x
tmr sch reopen le.. sigh sian..
*suddenly got a heavy heart* kinda sad.. din really like blogging that i was happy.. nvm this hols i really happy.. the past week la..
nvm.. will get better =)
5:02 AM...i'm thinkin' of you
I knew Fate wouldn't appear like this.
* none *
-Profile-
~Mervyn~
25/05/89
firerain2o01@hotmail.com
Friendster
I wish things will go my way..
I wish for a better tomorrow!
I wish for peace.